New Reflections - Another Chance, Another Starting Line

"There really are people like you, people who spread baseless rumours and just complain all day. People who cannot accomplish anything by themselves; people who feel  superior by looking down upon others - how pathetic. Go ahead, say something. But what can any of you achieve? What have any of you accomplished? Is there anything you can do better than me? If you know the meaning of the word shame, then feel it as you review the life you lived. Do you have any words left? ... None at all? Then you shouldn't have wasted my time with something pointless and just kept labouring. That's all any of you are worth anyway."

 "At least one person has to be his ally... Though I may be less reliable than an appointed attorney."

 These are the two quotes I used to premise my reflections because they are suitable to my current state of reflecting on the road I traveled, the road that lies ahead and the person I want to become. More than anything else, they reflect the confidence and beliefs I have as I start running from this new start line. It should be no surprise to those near me that I have had my fair share of concerns, thoughts and more than anything else, uncertainties for the future filled with a strange sense of self-confidence. More than anything, I was filled with the belief that I wanted to attempt to be self-sufficient, a belief I still hold today. However, my priorities have shifted ever so slightly.

As in the first monologue, I look back at my life and I feel pathetic - I looked down at the world, when in reality I was just afraid of acknowledging my own inability to make anything happen. It wasn't until I accepted my weakness that I finally started improving myself. It's cliche, but it's true. I act confident, I act like I don't care, but in reality I'm just pathetic. I read the second and I know I want to help people, and I want to be saved, but I have nothing and I'm not worthy of a person who is above me.

Now, I need to start aiming higher, to become a person who can gain the respect of others. A person who is worthy of having great people helping me, and more than anything, a person who can be equally great as the people surrounding me.