A Small Favour

"Would you risk it?" I asked, shivering. Today felt much colder than any other day. I had after all, left the shell of my personal safety to reach out to her. It felt surreal, not being inside the warmth of my house. Today was special though. It was supposed to be February 14th, the day where chocolate companies scam you for your money. I wasn't standing here because of that though.For some reason, today, I wanted to see her. I wanted to see the person who had dragged me out of my shell and exposed me to the world. I'm sure that everyone would laugh and point at me, calling me worthless and a waste of space. That's how I appear to the world anyway.

To her, I was different, or so I thought. With her, I thought I could take on the world, I could overcome any challenge. I suppose the term for this kind of feeling would be "love." That's what most would call it anyway. But I've never been known for following the things that are normal and common. I wasn't in love, I told myself over and over. This is just a debt I carry and a responsibility I have to repay. Those were the feelings I carried as I stared into her eyes, asking for her acceptance.

I had after all, asked her the impossible. To be there to support me when I needed it, that I would be there to help her, that I could do more than anyone else could, that I was far superior to anybody she had met, could meet or was currently meeting. Because I wanted to give her more than I had received, because that's how heavy that debt was.

In my mind though, I knew this would be the end of her and I. I would have to move forward past this, forget her, forget what she had done, and crawl back in the warmth of my house and disappear once more. I wondered why I was still standing here, as if I was revived from the dead.

She turned her head, the snow that had been resting on her head glittering as it fell off. She turned slightly, her sigh exhaling puffs of white.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." She turned to look at me, tears on the edges of her eyes. "You weren't supposed to do this, you weren't supposed to be this!" She took another breath. "You know I can't accept that. You were just a lost cause that I pulled forward. He's the one for me, not you, you'll never be that..." She sighed again. "It's time though."

Her words hit me like baseballs. One, two, three and I'm out. The bite of the cold seemed to hurt more, my legs that had felt like they were freezing before felt warm compared to my body. I felt numb. Still, I knew this was coming, I knew it was the end of the happiness I had got from this. I was heading back to the despair I was used to. At a whisper, I managed "...time?"

The puffs of white continue. "Time you and I forgot each other. Time you and I move on. Goodbye..." she managed to whisper. And with that, she turned around. That was the end. With her, taking step after step in the snow that wiped away her footprints behind her. I sank to my knees, rolling over to my side into the snow, the cold not affecting me. It was over. I could relax and forget now. I closed my eyes, accepting it, the snow the only blanket I needed in the darkness as I fell asleep for good.


//Authors Note - This was supposed to be a happy story! Originally anyway, you can blame Helen if it depressed you at all, that was somewhat her influence. I think this is a story I try to tell myself to move on before I end up frozen in time. Find all the symbolism you want! Secondly, this is actually post number 200! Crazy I know, but I think it's fitting that this is the post was the one that symbolized it because it sums up me as a person quite nicely.