Thinking too much is one of my biggest weights in life. I think more than most people, and I also like to believe that I think faster. Not that I can prove or disprove that statement, but it's just a thought that can bring up your confidence without harming others. It's the small things we do to define ourselves that ultimately create our larger selves, but it is also our regrets about mistakes that make us who we are.
Something as simple as not giving up your seat can make you hate yourself and regret the action you took. Once something has happened you can't help the guilt that stabs into you. It's times like these that small tweaks occur and we change ourselves slowly for the better.
Sometimes, it's not that simple, and sometimes we ask ourselves about bigger questions. Questions that most people have no answers. Answers they don't have because they don't ask those questions, or answers they know intuitively. Intuitively many of us have answers to questions that others ask themselves constantly. These questions aren't as simple as what is 2^5 but are closer to what makes me me or what makes me different. Sometimes we ask what we lack as people and as a person. Yet, some of us don't ask these questions because we just know. We feel who we are and we feel satisfaction in ourselves. That's just how different people are, in a non-academic way. So when we search for a someone else to help us on this journey, we come to realize that we need people who have these answers or have found their answers to guide us along our path too.
Yet, I have a question that I don't think anyone really understands, and I still strive to find an answer for it. A question that burns into my mind every day, and one that I just can't figure out the right or wrong of. "Is it really fine to live this life of today?" I wonder whether it really is fine living the way I am, with lack of connection from others, or whether I should be leaving my life as I know it behind and finding a new connection. Or should I try to create a connection with people who don't understand. Sitting at a diverging path, I wonder. I can't walk here for much longer, our paths are too different. But I can't just throw away all that I smiled for, enjoyed and lived in for so long. Do I leave my past behind here, do I hope to meet them in the future or do I just move forward into my life?
A question, but one where an answer does not exist.
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